Comedy of Heirs

I was remembering when Brandon was in kindergarten and one particular day when we picked him up from school. The class had been working through a (age-appropriate) unit on drug and alcohol awareness. His teacher motioned us to a mildly private area and told us that Brandon had announced to everyone that his Dad had to be an alcoholic…because I had beer in the refrigerator. Andrea and I laughed, because I rarely drank beer and had that beer in there for a few months! Now, more than 20 years later, I can say even if I did drink it, it wasn’t beer…merely the ignorant purchase of an American light lager. Beer snobbery aside…that was quite funny.

That made me think of a time a couple of years later when I was waiting patiently in a restaurant bathroom with Colin, who was only five or so, who had to finish his “business”. The kid asked a ton of questions all the time, and talked while “concentrating”. The guy in the stall next to us couldn’t help but overhear the conversation, but I know I heard a cough/snort when he heard Colin’s little voice say, “I still don’t understand relativity.” He insisted on another (age-appropriate) explanation, and I swore I saw some guy pointing us out as we walked back to our table.

All my sons haven’t fallen far from my bizarre tree, despite the Mom’s attempts at stability. When the four of them get together, say at Great Wolf Lodge or Six Flags Hurricane Harbor…or pretty much anywhere, nuttiness ensues. Family dinners might get punctuated with “Duck Season!“, or “Put on a tie! Fine!” or a spirited rendition of the Muppets doing Habanera. (This is not them…)

And then today, our Dylan and Drew accompanied us to an Arts Incubator of Richardson pop-up show. We were waiting on Andrea, who was making her rounds, and there was a store-bought painting in the break room where we were sitting:

art piece of D&D

The conversation between our two younger sons cracked me up:

“The plants, the letters, the building all converging on and complementing the chairs.

We know art is all about the chairs.

Yeah. And reflections plus chairs equals aliens.

Do you see any reflections of chairs? No! Therefore…aliens!

Wait, the plants! They don’t have reflections either! Are they aliens?

No. The artist didn’t get it right. An alien would have done it better. Human beings miss so many things.

I’m suing you for harassment.

I’m suing you for suing me.

Dad, if a lawyer gets sued can he be his own lawyer?”

Yep. Surreal and extra nutty.

They’re mine.


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